INVENTION: Aura Projector

Aura Projection with bumped-up contrast

I had an epiphany last summer and canceled my cable TV subscription immediately after I got up off my bed (where the epiphany struck).
Here’s what happened.

I was feeling extremely low-energy after taking a shower on a hot, sunny, summer day.

I had the TV on, CNN rattling on and on in the background while I went about my day.

All hot and wet from my shower, I flopped down on my bed, and just stared at the ceiling, not particularly listening to the blaring TV in the next room, but able to hear it nevertheless.

As it happened, there was a small stool with a half empty glass of water on it beside the bed, and the stool was actually touching the mattress.

The surface of the water in the drinking glass was creating a reflection on the ceiling, due to the 3pm sun streaming into the window.

Because there was contact between the stool with the water glass and the mattress where I lay, I noticed that the beat of my heart was slightly jiggling the sun’s reflection on the ceiling.

In my glazed over state, I gazed at this jiggling reflection, amused to see my own “vibration” on the ceiling.

I picked up the glass and put it right beside me on the mattress in order to create a more accurate projection of my heartbeat on the ceiling.

I then gazed at this for a couple of minutes… CNN blaring in the background.

It occurred to me as I watched the little jiggling light-spot on the ceiling, that there was a rhythm which was corresponding to the CNN noise.

WAR. ECONOMIC CRISIS. FAMINE. NATURAL DISASTER. MORE WAR. MORE FINANCIAL CRISIS. HOUSING COLLAPSE. MORE WAR. …etc…

I saw the rhythm of the announcers’ dire pronouncements in my reflection, and it was not harmonious. This jangled, aggressive, rhythm with its negative messages seemed to be “invading” my own natural vibration.

So I got up from the bed, turned off the TV, and then went back to the bed, careful not to spill the water in the glass and then resuming my observation of my heartbeat-reflection on the ceiling.

It was now much more harmonious in its rhythm.

collage of projected vibrations with bumped-up contrast

I am amazed by this discovery, and I would like to create a device like a glass canister of some sort with a water reservoir for the user to pour water into. It has a powerful light built into it, which creates the reflection on the wall or ceiling. I may need to install a mirror in it, in order to more accurately “point” the projection on a wall or screen… perhaps a device could even be developed to “read” this reflection and interpret it through some sort of algorithm.

Turn off your TV or put on your tinfoil hat

I really think this is a good invention, again, like all my others, I donate this to the public realm. If anyone could manufacture a nice aura projector, using the amazing properties of water an light, I would gladly buy this at a metaphysical shop!

Below are some actual photos of projections, including my own, unaltered from the original (the ones above have bumped-up contrast) – please note, the photos do not do justice to these projections – I’m going to have to take some videos of these glowing patterns of light, vibrating jiggling, pulsating, slowing, speeding-up, etc.

I am interested in doing some experimentation with playing classical music, punk rock, reading poetry, having a conversation, etc., to see the effects on the projected patterns:

Fabric

Main Entry: fab·ric
Pronunciation: \ˈfa-brik\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French fabrique, from Latin fabrica workshop, structure
Date: 15th century

1 a : structure, building b : underlying structure : framework <the fabric of society>
2 : an act of constructing : erection; specifically : the construction and maintenance of a church building
3 a : structural plan or style of construction b : texture, quality —used chiefly of textiles c : the arrangement of physical components (as of soil) in relation to each other
4 a : cloth 1a b : a material that resembles cloth
5 : the appearance or pattern produced by the shapes and arrangement of the crystal grains in a rock

Fabric

A little off-kilter buy, hey, it’s 4am

CURE FOR ANOREXIA

(And I’m talking about the semi-suicidal anorexics, not the vain type who just watch what they eat to the point of neurotic control-freakism)

Lock them up in a pleasant room full of interesting, positive books, yummy meals passed through a slot, NO TV or any kind of glamour mags, funny videos, & NO MIRROR. If you just leave them in there for a month or two without any access to humans they can torture with their psychological bullshit, I’m sure they’d be alive.

Then again, I think there’s some argument for making it a crime against their parents… grrr … spoiled narcissistic little bitches, torturing their Mums & Dads.
I think the most efficient approach is, upon diagnosis, take them to a special kind of (minimum wage) doctor who offers them a choice between
A)eating a balanced meal (without throwing up) or
B)taking a lethal injection
EVERY DAY AT NOON UNTIL CURED OR DEAD.

As with almost every subject, I’m with George Carlin on this one:

INVENTION: BREATHALYZER FOR COMMUNICATION SERVICES

(Similar to the device attached to a car’s ignition subsequent to a DUI charge).
Yes, imagine a small tube connected to your telephone or computer: blow over a pre-set blood-alcohol limit and access to all social networking media, such as FaceBook, Twitter, MySpace etc, would be DISABLED. Also, all but emergency 911 calls would be DISABLED. I think I could sell the shit outta this one (could USE it too!).
Here is a related article – regarding the Twittalyzer…

TWO MORE INVENTIONS

I need something for butter like one of the starfrit cheese graters that live in the fridge with your cheese preinstalled. I need one for butter that would spit out 5 thin, thin, thin strands of butter with a cranking on a side handle or something, so that you could put these little strands on your toast and they would melt. I HATE having chunks of cold butter ripping my toast!

ALSO, i used to have a tiny travel mouse with a RETRACTABLE CORD. It was great – you would give a tug on each end of the spring-loaded spooler, and the cord would retract. I wish those spring-loaded spools were available as standalones. You could make them open up on the side, wind-in your cord, snap the side-lid on, and boom, have retractable cords on everything. Can somebody please start selling pack of 3 and all different sizes?!

WORKING ON AN OFF-GRID POD

It’s all skylights & gardens on the top level, with a fire-station-type passage to the downstairs.

I had some time on BC Ferries lately – disconnected from the Internet and looking for a good time-waster.
Et Voila:

This sounds a bit nutty, but it would be best built right into a hill - no outside profile… or as my consultant commented “no curb appeal” – LOL.
A la UFO shape…

MIDDLE LEVEL: for bedrooms (AKA: “personal units”) and a central kitchen/command center.

THE BASEMENT: (bottom level) would comprise energy / heat storage.

COLD-STORAGE (FOOD): I didn’t do a diagram, as I am thinking that to store *large* amounts of food, there would have to be a separate building or chamber, accessible by tunnel.

Now I just have to get the world’s top architects vying for the chance to run with this fabulous idea

INVENTION #5 (X-Rated) – Dolly Brothels

I’m thinking you could organize a co-venture between the manufacturer of those super-realistic sex-dollies and a cheap hotel-chain, and…. Voila!

Not technically prostitution; not technically adultery; no exploitation of poor / drug-addicted young women and men (oh, BTWL they have she-male dollies too!); and (with proper cleaning methodologies) no STDs… this could be a victimless ‘crime’.

I may have to delete this one, as it is rather gross, but “there’s money in muck,” as they say.

I foresee the whole sex-trade industry in the ‘First World’ going cyber anyway (the ultimate ’safe sex’) – it will all just be USB devices for your PC (or Mac!) with funny silicon attachments in the not-too-distant future — more inventions in that vein — to come (pardon the pun).

INVENTION #4 – Snake-Lamp-Type Tripod for Webcams/Digicams

I have a prototype of this too…. kind of a cludge, but it works great, would never go back to a regular tripod. I’ll try to put a photo of it.
I am just putting this stuff out there in hopes that someone with more wherewithal than I will pick these things up, manufacture, and bring to market.
I like Fred’s comment that it took us all these thousands of years to come up with the idea to put wheels on our luggage!

INVENTION #3 – Kids’ Video Games Powered by an Attached Exercise Machine

Hook their Nintendo up to a stationary bicycle or something, it’s just that simple.
They stop pedalling, their power cuts out – kind of a corollary of INVENTION #2….

INVENTION #2 – Reclaiming Wasted Energy from Excercisers

Ever walk past a gymn and look in the window at all the useless activity?
That useless activity is powered by the consumption of EXCESS food.
It’s just plain wasteful.
It is my opinion that if you have that much extra energy that you can afford to go and run on a treadmill or lift weights or whatever, you are just eating too much.
Can something USEFUL not be done with all this extra energy?

I propose to hook these excercise machines to a generator and feed the electricity back to the grid.

INVENTION #1 – The SlimChain System

I got this idea while watching some rip-off infomercial advertising some excercise machine or diet pills or potions or something like that and I was thinking how can people believe this stuff!?
There is no sneaky, science-defying way of losing weight.
It is like the ALCHEMISTS in the old days who used to pretend they could change coal into gold.

If you want to lose weight, just DON’T EAT SO MUCH.

My SLIMCHAIN SYSTEM simply prevents you from pigging-out.
WWW.SLIMCHAIN.COM
It is a low-tech, highly effective method of weight-maintenance.
The slimchain can only help you NOT GAIN weight, not lose weight.
It’s just a waist-chain with a lock on it. You sleep/shower/swim/etc. with it ON.
If you over-eat, you suffer. If you have eaten too much, you REALLLY look forward to your next BM! LOL

Sio says each slimchain should have crystals attached that is specific to your needs – healing or astrological, or whatever… I like that idea.

I have a stainless steel prototype myself.
It circles my waist with about an inch or 2 of slack to accommodate mealtimes.
It fastens with a tiny padlock.
The idea is – you lock it on then give the key to a pal, then you live your life as usual… with a little bit of aversion therapy to over-eating. It’s kind of cool-looking and it REALLY WORKS!

Just take it off if you get pregnant.

I had a little trouble at security at the Newark airport over Christmas because I couldn’t take mine off … don’t have the key!

The female security rep who searched me said, “so what is this, a symbol of love or something?” as she searched me.
I said, “Actually this is my INVENTION,” and I told her how it works and that IT WORKS.
She says she’s looking out for it!

I just have to get costs down (prototype is pricey) and sell these things
-at weightloss clinics
-at gymns
-at nightclubs
-etc.

I don’t really care if someone ’steals’ this idea, because it would be good for everyone, good for the planet too… we just eat too much. Over-eating and then burning it off at the gym is just a waste of resources.

That brings me to INVENTION #2…